Caregivers

                     A very important consideration when trying to keep a loved one at home is whether or not to have a caregiver.  This can be a family member who comes by anyway.  A daughter, sister, or friend from church.  They stop by anyway but should be made to realize at some point that it will be necessary to make this a routine visit.  Daily or weekly can change over time.  Once a day or twice a day; this too may change.  Sometimes it becomes necessary to look into paying a caregiver.  There may not be a family member or friend willing or able to stop by regularly enough.  There may be a family member or friend who can work this into their schedule if they are compensated.  Let's face it, everyone needs money.  Sometimes, this helps the one being looked after the feel that they are still in control.  They are paying for the help, or someone in the family is helping out.  This makes them feel like less of a burden sometimes, and they are more likely to tell this person what really needs to be done.  Those floors really need to be mopped; is easier to say when you are compensating someone for their time, than when asking as if it is a favor week after week.
  There may come a time when there needs to be frequent care.  Daily care to help someone get in and out of bed, stay with them to make sure they can get back and forth to the restroom.  Or, simply to keep them safe, as they have become too forgetful to stay alone.  There are many aspects of this that need to be considered.  The one thing you must be confident of is that the person has the necessary training for the level of care your loved one requires.  If not, you could find yourself in a dire situation and have someone who does not have the necessary experience or knowledge to keep your loved one safe.  A paid caregiver from a licensed, bonded company can ensure the caregiver has the necessary training, CPR; basic first aide, and simple knowledge of infection control, confidentiality and fall prevention.  This may cost more.  At this time, the average hourly rate for a paid caregiver with an agency is 20.00 an hour.  gasp!  yes, this is likely the hourly rate you will be quoted when looking into this.  And the cost can go up if traveling is involved.  Extra skills such as bathing, care of catheters, of feeding tubes can cost more.  It may be cheaper for families to find a private person who will be willing to work for the family that is not working through a company.  It is less money but you wont have that piece of mind, and when that person has a family emergency or when the caregiver falls ill, as everyone does from time to time, you wont have a substitute caregiver available the agency will be able to provide.  For some families it is necessary to work with someone who  is not with an agency as to save money.  Sometimes the cost will dictate what kind of caregiver you can have.  Each has benefits.  Either way, look into the background of the company or person.  Check references and ask for past families you can speak to.  Experienced caregivers will have no problem with this.  Again, the time to talk about this and consider the families ability to provide the extra care  is NOT when it becomes necessary.  It is before.  

                                  KEEPING MOM HOME

   After many years in the business of working with the elderly in their home, working with families who are trying to keep their parents, brother, sisters, friends, in their home; I've decided to put some information out there for everyone.  I've worked with hundreds, maybe thousands of people over the years who have successfully done this very thing. Unfortunately I've also worked with at least that many who have not been successful.   Most often, this is due to a lack of education, planning, or just plain common sense. 

   The decision to keep a loved one in their home is best made years before the time comes to decide.  Not a hastily made decision after an illness or injury has landed the loved one in the hospital and they are not able to go home immediately after a hospital stay. 

   No one wants to think about this, however.  We all want to stay healthy, strong, and independent until our dying day.  We want to be paying our bills, buying our groceries, attending church, card parties, the beauty parlor and doing this ourselves; in our own car with no help from anyone else.  The hard reality is that one day someone will say, "should Mom be alone?" It often happens slowly, gradually, quietly, and often...secretly.  Mom doesn't want anyone to know she "forgot" where she was going when she was miles away from home.  Driving in circles because she forgot if she was going to the beauty parlor or the grocery store.  No one knows there is not enough money at the end of the month to buy all the medicine and groceries so one or the other have to be sacrificed.  No one knows how weak she gets by the end of the day she sleeps in the recliner rather than attempt to walk to the bed.   

  The truth is Mom or Dad can stay in their home.  With some planning, talking, and cooperation it can be done and done successfully.  This is the reason for my blog.  I've been a home health nurse for 20 years and I've seen both sides of the coin.  I hope to be a resource for those who want to keep their family members at home.  A source of support for when it becomes stressful, scary, or just too much.  A source of information for all those questions that WILL come.  A reality check about what is and what is not.  Sometimes, just someone to listen.  It can be a very lonely business when you make this decision and are the one who makes it their responsibility to keep Mom home. I hope to be of help.